Last week, Chantal shared a post about having a thankful attitude amidst our busy and demanding day to day. We’ve decided that in honor of Thanksgiving this month, we want to focus our posts on something we are actively thankful for, and this week we’re highlighting friendships.
While friendships can unfortunately also bring up painful memories from the past, we want to focus on the positives and how amazing they can be in motherhood. The media does a great job of pitting women against each other, but we are all about ending mommy wars. Once you become a mother in any capacity, you are automatically a member of the Motherhood Club. We realize it takes a village to raise your children, and the idea of a hive or tribe of women who are all in it together and supportive of one another is so much better than making enemies by highlighting our differences rather than similarities. Motherhood is unique in that your experiences as a woman sometimes make it easier to relate to other women and mothers versus your spouse, to get much needed empathy or advice. There are innumerable mothers in different walks of life who lend a sympathetic ear or give non-judgmental advice and encouragement through online forums who you may not even know in person, and these hives are invaluable to so many.
Finding your hive or mom BFF (MBFF) can be difficult at first--you are basically friendship dating. But when you find them, the search was totally worth it. You connect on both a personal and parenting level, and these people can become an extension of your family, especially if you don’t have actual family close by. Motherhood is all encompassing, but your fellow moms know you are more than a mother and they have an idea of who you were before you became a mom, even if you didn’t meet until after you had kids.
One and a half years ago, I moved from Los Angeles to Philadelphia--husband, dog, and 10 month old in tow. We had friends and family praying to prepare a community for us, and thankfully those prayers were answered so quickly. I met my future MBFF on the city bus as we headed to a meetup.com playdate where we were the only ones who showed up (it was fate!). The following weeks I met multiple families at our church, through other groups I joined, and even at the playground who happened to have children around my son’s age. Thankfully, we clicked immediately. Even though we knew we would only be in Philly for two years, I knew those years would drag on if I didn’t have some good friends along the way. We’ve laughed and cried together, vented to and encouraged one another, gotten many a drink and dessert, shared news about new pregnancies and brought meals after the babies arrived. Our kids know each other by name, and give hugs to both child and mom when we meet up. There isn't a day that goes by where I am not thankful for each friend and her child(ren)!
Though I was slightly traumatized when my MBFF moved to a city 5 hours away this past summer, the time we had together was absolutely worth it and now I have a new city to visit (this weekend, in fact!). I know I’ll feel the same way about all my Philly friends when we have to move again in 7 months, and I’m already praying to find my hive in our next city.
Have you found your MBFF or tribe of moms? How are you thankful for them?