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Charlotte, NC 28208
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Charlotte+Asher creates chic diaper bags for the stylish, modern mom.

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Parenthood related topics written by the founders of charlotte+asher.

When Things Don't Go As Planned

Laura Hahn

 They're worth it.

They're worth it.

As a typical Type A personality, being in control is a big thing for me, though I accommodate when I can. However, after having kids, I've learned that I need to be even more flexible, or at least provide flexibility within a framework so both the kids and I don't go completely bonkers. It's a battle of the wills for sure, and while my older son has usually been pretty easy going, he is definitely in a phase right now where he wants to exert his independence. As for my almost 2 year old daughter, well, I never really had a chance. Girlfriend knows what she wants and when!

Pregnancy is oftentimes a precursor to showing you, as a future parent, that sometimes things are just out of your control. Both Chantal and I had subchorionic hemorrhages with our second pregnancies, and while I didn't even know what those were the first time around, I later found out that up to a third of women experience them. Luckily, they ended up disappearing on their own for both of us, but Chantal had to be on bedrest for several weeks. 

As your due date approaches, things can happen quickly and all of a sudden you're giving birth weeks early. With my son, I went in for a routine weekly checkup at 37 weeks and they found a heart arrhythmia. We chalked it up to me drinking a different Starbucks drink that may have had more caffeine than usual. However, when it didn't go away after a couple weeks, I went in for non-stress tests and then I was told that I would be induced in a couple days at 39 weeks. Though the arrhythmia was not serious, they wanted to make sure that he was out of the womb in case it did turn into something else, and usually going through the birth canal caused it to go away. I had planned something every day leading up to my due date to stay busy, but I ended up having to cancel most of those plans! And luckily, everything worked out with my son.

Even when you try to put together a birth plan, I've found that the best plan is to be flexible. If you want to give birth in a birthing center, a water tub, a hospital--move toward those plans. However, just remember that the most important thing is for you and the baby to be safe and healthy. Have backups for "just in case" so you're not forced to make a decision you haven't thought about yet while in the middle of gut wrenching contractions or while you and your partner are very emotional. And make sure you feel comfortable with and trust your medical caregivers, whether it is an OB or midwife--if you know you're being treated with good hands, you'll feel better about saying yes to whatever they're recommending.

Did anything throw your birth plans out the window?